Recently someone whom I considered a good friend spoke in a manner that shocked me. Her words fell like bricks against my eardrums and I was deeply offended. Yup that's right - I was OFFENDED. Do you know how far out of line you need to be to say or do something that I find offensive? I tried to listen to find out where her ignorant and hurtful words had been rooted. However, I was so distracted by her foul and repugnant statements that I lost any capacity to draw any deeper into the conversation. It has changed the way I see this person and I suddenly feel compelled to create distance between us. I fear that if I don't that she may spew her ignorant words in the company of someone else and they may make the horrendous assumption that I share her view.
But was it really that big of a deal? After all I have other friends that do and say stupid things all the time and it doesn't upset me like this did. So I sat there scratching my head trying to figure out what was upsetting me. Her statements were racist rounded out with a discriminatory perspective of people who hang on a rung lower than her on the socioeconomic ladder of life. Blechkt! Shut up! Shut up! In my head I screamed at her to shut up, pull her head out or her ass and see that in this world we live in there are people, good people, that are different than we are. Being poor isn't contagious and just because you are black doesn't mean that you come from a broken home or are in a gang. However I resisted saying anything close to that, and instead I let it simmer while I stewed over it. THAT was the worst thing for me to do. Because now I see this person, whom I believed to be a friend as an elitist and a racist.
Who describes a friend with such words?
Well now what do I do?
Mostly nothing.
OK stop choking. I know that normally I would endeavor into battle and beat it into oblivion. I would spiral into wordy rants and pontificate on the injustices that exist because of her and people like her. Oh normally I would go on and on and on. But for what purpose? The one and only thing I can do is take the opportunity to educate her when the moment is right. However that moment when she said those things was not the right time. I quietly, yet firmly stated why I saw what she feared as something to be embraced.
I left it at that and said nothing more about it. In the meantime I will continue to teach my daughters that each and every person on this earth regardless of the color of our skin or the amount of money in our pockets, all begin life in the same way and all end life the same way.
We are born. We are human. We live. We die.
We must never do unto others that which we would not do to ourselves.
MLK we still have a long way to go.
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